he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
