I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
