kristin has been a bad kristin
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
