I am puke
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
