Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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