I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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