I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
