White coat. Heels.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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