Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
