best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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