Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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