therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
