I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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