Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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