$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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