Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Shame is for Republicans.
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