oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
