Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
