Rock
Scissors
Fuck
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
