summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
