I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
