the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
