Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
