I looked at my own cervix.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
