her vagine was all disorganized.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
