Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
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no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
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There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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