Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Holy shit dude........stairs
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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