pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize