He is such a slut. More and more my type.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
