Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
