New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
