That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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