But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
