Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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