the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
