R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
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After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
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in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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