Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
