well you can't waste a boner
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
