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• (916): View more from California

  Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"

  (1-916): View more from California

  High five!

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds

  (404): View more from Georgia

  She started it, but I totally finished it.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"

  (1-513): View more from Ohio

  You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?

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• (914): View more from New York

  answer my text you professional douchebag

  (914): View more from New York

  and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?

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