Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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