how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
