I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
