i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize