love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
