He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
