I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
