I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
