I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
oh god was she eating orange peels again
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
