So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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