he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
