I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
