And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
