Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
