i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize