So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I think a kid would responsible me up
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
