Rock
Scissors
Fuck
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
