I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
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