Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
