check it out our google latitudes are spooning
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
