Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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