I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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