Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
