how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize