If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
