I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
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i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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