Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
