garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
